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        賀陽:再讀韋君宜的《思痛錄》

        選擇字號:   本文共閱讀 2115 次 更新時間:2019-08-21 20:29:08

        進入專題: 韋君宜   文革  

        賀陽 (進入專欄)  

          

           韋君宜的《思痛錄》十幾年前我曾經讀過。近來閑暇,又讀了一遍,感觸比上次更深。

           讀著這位知識分子老干部的回憶錄,給人的總體感覺是相當壓抑。書一開篇,作者就明確指出:“我是一個忠誠的老共產黨員”;“為什么當共產黨?開始我并不知道什么是共產主義。我不是為了家里窮苦,反對富豪,而是為了要反對日本帝國主義。”“我跟著黨,受苦受窮,吃糠咽菜,心甘情愿。真正使我感到痛苦的,是一生所經歷的歷次運動給我們黨和國家造成的難以挽回的災難……在左的思想影響下,我既是受害者,也成了害人者。這是我尤其追悔莫及的。”

           作為一位1934年入讀清華大學哲學系的好學生,韋君宜進校不久,就投入了抗日救亡工作,是“一二.九”運動的積極參與者。她1936年加入中國共產黨……1939年到延安之后,韋君宜經歷的第一次大的政治運動,是延安整風特別是后期的“搶救失足者”。在那場運動中,她不僅親眼看到自己身邊眾多的同事、朋友被打成“叛徒”、“特務”,被殘酷斗爭、被“搶救”;更是日日夜夜為自己身陷囹圄的丈夫楊述擔驚受怕,為無辜的楊述爭取“脫罪”而殫精竭慮,以致剛剛出生不久的女兒不幸夭折……

           解放后,“鎮反”、“三反五反”、“肅反”、“批《武訓傳》”、“批胡風”、“批俞平伯”、“反右”、“大躍進”、“反右傾”等運動一個接著一個,韋君宜就職的文化出版界處在風口浪尖,每場運動都有一批人“落馬”,直至史無前例的“十年浩劫”。在這接踵而至的政治運動中,韋君宜親眼目睹了大量冤假錯案,自己也難逃干系,受了不少冤屈;然而最使她感到痛苦的,是作為一個單位的領導,有些明明看清楚了的錯案,自己卻無能為力或是沒有勇氣去抵制……

           在這本書中,韋君宜專門用了一節——“當代人的悲劇”——的篇幅,寫她的丈夫楊述。楊述是她在清華讀書時的同學,也是“一二.九”學生運動的骨干分子。楊述1943年在延安“搶救運動”中被打成“特務”,吃盡了苦頭;“十年動亂”中受到更大的沖擊,遭受了許多常人難以想象的皮肉之苦……直到去世前一年多,楊述才在胡耀邦的親自過問下,獲得平反——這時他夢想多日的“繼續為黨工作”的愿望,已經沒有可能實現了。

           楊述10歲的時候父親就去世了。入黨之后,在楊述的說服下,母親和自己的5個兄弟姐妹,全都參加了革命工作;他還動員母親變賣了家中的全部細軟,用作中共黨組織的活動經費……對楊述的后來的“悲劇”,韋君宜這樣寫道:“他就是這么一個人,真正做到了黨怎么說,他就怎么想,所謂‘黨指到那里就打到哪里”,老老實實,不愧為‘馴服工具’”……“我怎么也想不到,文化大革命會把這樣一個人當做‘反革命修正主義分子’來打,而且打得那么慘。當他已經被造反派掛了黑牌,剃了‘陰陽頭’,弄的滿頭刀痕,被打得遍體鱗傷之后,回到家里見到造他反的17歲的女兒,還囑咐道:‘我這次可能被亂棍打死,但是我實在不是反革命,搞革命總會有犧牲,我就是死了,翻不過案來,你也一定要永遠跟黨走’”……到了1973年,他們全家團聚在永定門外的兩間小屋里,每天晚上都要召開“家庭政治小組會”,一般總要開到10點鐘。“這時候,我們自己做過‘政治排隊’,最‘左’的是他(楊述),其次是女兒,再次是兒子,最‘右’的是我……”

           要說楊述是“當代人的悲劇”,的確名副其實。前些年,社會上用“兩頭真”來描述相當一批知識分子老干部的思想狀況,在我看來,直到1980年去世,楊述這位干了一輩子革命的知識分子老干部,對涉及自身、中國共產黨和我們國家的許多最關鍵的問題,也沒有想明白——當然,他走得也的確早了一點,許多問題還沒有來得及反思和認識。

           說起韋君宜一家,和我們家還有一些關系,只是我父親比較木訥、過去跟他們聯系不多。韋君宜的一個弟弟魏鳴一,和我父親是抗戰時期成都燕京大學的同學,父親在新聞系,魏鳴一好像是物理系的,改革開放后魏還和幾個老同學一起來我家聚會過;解放初期,父親從中央馬列學院畢業,分配到團中央宣傳部工作,當時的領導正是楊述;后來楊述調去北京市委工作,想帶父親一起過去,但是父親另有所思,沒有跟他去。韋君宜的女兒楊團我30多年前就認識,他的女婿李久源和我也曾有幾面之識……

           母親總說我父親這個人“書生氣十足”、“不食人間煙火”,從“反胡風”開始,父親在各種運動中屢屢挨整,與此不無關系。從《思痛錄》書中的描述看,楊述這位父親曾經的老領導,在“書生氣”方面似乎比我父親有過之而無不及,只不過他們倆一個偏“左”、一個偏“右”,表現形式不同罷了。這恐怕也是中國知識分子一個比較常見的“弱點”——當然,如果是生活在一個文明健康的環境之中,他們的這些“弱點”,可能充其量也不過是個人性格上的一個瑕疵而已,絕對不至于給他們帶來如此可怕的“滅頂之災”……

          

           2018年4月6日

          

        進入 賀陽 的專欄     進入專題: 韋君宜   文革  

        本文責編:limei
        發信站:愛思想(http://www.2sungmin.com),欄目:天益學術 > 歷史學 > 文革研究專題 > 文革往事和心路
        本文鏈接:http://www.2sungmin.com/data/117808.html
        文章來源:作者授權愛思想發布,轉載請注明出處(http://www.2sungmin.com)。

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